What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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