fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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