i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
two words...techno handjob
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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