he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
