I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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