K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just google imaged poop.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just invented taco cereal.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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