Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
