remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
