It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
