great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
