I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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