Umm I'm too high to move.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
