So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
