Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
