he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
