Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
