Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
