please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
