She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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