So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
