Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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