just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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