Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
