is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
