sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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