Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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