they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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