The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
