I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
