that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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