after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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