but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
