He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
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