YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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