I wish i was in the wii world.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Rumble strips road head = magical
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
