I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
