You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
