I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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