Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
