i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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