ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
