We're facebook friends in real life
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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