wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
