last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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