Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
