but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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