I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
