Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
