how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
