I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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